Oh, Gawwwwwwddddd – IV Words – The Progressive Perspective

Keep Your Righteous Drunkenness – & LGBTQ+ Hatred – to Yourself

There’s punch-drunk and then there’s righteousness drunk, which is similar but without repeated physical blows to the head. They’re replaced with in-your-face, best-repent-or-yer-goin’-to-hell overtones.

You know you’re in trouble when they pull gawd on you.

The righteousness fairly radiates off their bodies and/or social media profiles as they begin quoting choice (i.e., cherry-picked) passages from THE bible and regaling you with the old saw of “these are the words of gawwwwwwwwd.”

A couple of weeks ago – on June 1, to be exact – a guy really threw down after I reposted a Pride Month meme on social media: “Wishing every homophone a super uncomfortable month.”

And when I say he “pulled Gawd on me,” I mean the guy really unloaded. Both barrels. Buckshot.

Let’s just say Sodom & Gomorrah figured prominently in his long… loooonnnnnngggg…. vile, pretentious and condemnatory rant. As did the “words of Gawd.” Although, in my mind as I read his comments, I kept hearing it as gawwwwwwwwd.

It’s challenging to even capture in writing the pronunciation borne of such sanctimonious self-satisfaction that usually accompanies the word “god” from these people. Sometimes it sounds like I’ve written it above – Gawd, one syllable, but definitely a southern drawl mixed in there. Other times it’s almost like it has two syllables: “ga-wed.” And still others, when they’re really worked up, it comes out like a dry heave – gawwwwwwwwd – as if they think all those drawn-out w’s convey consecration or something.

I can imagine Righteousness Beavis (don’t worry, I’ll get to that) saying it that way. See for yourself:

Upon first reading this loathsome nonsense, I couldn’t help but immediately imagine John Goodman, a.k.a., the corporate lawyer, in Bee Movie:

Alas, this guy is no John Goodman. Unfortunately, I cross paths with him regularly, and to me he’s more like a sad replicant of Beavis of “Beavis and Butthead” fame. Which is saying something because, you know, Mike Judge’s Beavis is pretty pathetic to begin with.

Seriously, though whenever I encounter the guy, I see and hear Beavis:

“Heh-heh-heh-heh… GAWD! Heh-heh-heh-heh… SIN! Heh-heh-heh-heh… JUDGEMENT! Heh-heh-heh-heh… LIBERAL! Heh-heh-heh-heh….”

That, and I see and hear someone who is not just a tiny bit tipsy, not just buzzing a bit, but is an all-out, fully inebriated righteousness drunk.

Righteousness drunkenness is similar to alcohol drunkenness in that, just like alcohol, righteousness makes some people say the rudest, nastiest, most judgmental things, things they’d never say to someone without imbibing a good amount of the stuff. Until they reach a certain level of sickness, that is; then they’ll say it anytime, like a dry alcohol drunk. Imbibing is no longer a necessary precursor to boorish behavior: they’re just kind of dicks. Period.

Dry righteousness drunk… yes… I do believe that’s perfect.

If you’re familiar with the verbiage of recovery, then you know “dry drunk” describes someone who doesn’t consume alcohol anymore but who hasn’t dealt with the life disturbances that originally drove them to addiction.

In my judgment (heh-heh-heh-heh) there’s only one difference between a person drunk on alcohol and a person drunk on righteousness:  the alcohol drunk wakes up the next day no longer inebriated but with a hangover he regrets. The righteousness drunk never comes out of the acute illness and certainly never regrets it.

Likewise, there’s only one difference between a dry drunk and a righteousness drunk: whereas a dry drunk’s life no longer includes alcohol, righteousness drunkards never stop consuming holier-than-thou virtue from various “sacred” texts and preachers so they can force it upon others. Which they do, gleefully. Only a fortunate few ever wake up from that.

As for the rest of us, we definitely feel some regret, as in, “Jaysus, how’d I wind up in a room listening to this zealous blowhard?” We’re forced to be exposed to their judgment and deal with their self-assigned superiority regardless of whether we believe in their gibberish or not.

And I do not.

I am an atheist. But contrary to what some people think, that doesn’t mean I dislike or even judge people who believe in and worship a god.

Again, I do not.

Look, man… and woman… you believe in a god, fine, I’ve got no problem with that. I find it ridiculous, given that there have been more than 3,000 gods in the history of human beings.

But I’m sure yours is the one true one. <pats believer’s hand with zero malice>

I mean, whatever. Live and let live. You’ll have no problem with me on that score, with three straight-forward provisos –

1. Do not weaponize your god or religion in ways that hurt people.
2. Keep them out of my face.
3. Keep them, especially, out of my government.

Sadly, these caveats are too much for Righteous Beavis and those of his ilk. But then, Righteous Beavis is an evangelical christian, and evangelicals can’t help it. Hell, it’s right there in the root word. No, no.. not “hell” – evangelize. Come to think of it, though, they do tend to throw a lot of hell in there, plus fire and brimstone, a fork-tongued devil and other fictional characters, plus lots more “word of Gawd” malarkey which, by the way, comes to them directly from their god. Only not directly from their god, exactly, because it’s from their bible or a similar religious text. Which was written by human beings….

But I digress.

Heh-heh-heh-heh…

Here’s to Pride and all the people in my life it celebrates! I celebrate with you!

And I sincerely, without reservation, remorse or potential resentment, hope all homophobes and anti-LGBTQ+ assholes do, indeed, have an seriously uncomfortable month.

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• Source: https://ivwords.com/2024/06/14/no-lgbtq-hate/